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Here are some areas you can start with when learning how to be a sub daily. Allow them the opportunity to make choices for you. Work on keeping your words and demeanor respectful to your Master. Again, being completely submissive feels overwhelming at first, so start small. It can be hard to take the submissive personality out of the bedroom and into everyday life. Taking the submission out of the bedroom and into 24/7 And although the sub is doing whatever their Dom asks of them and is striving to please them at all times, it is always within their limits. Remember that choosing to obey can be empowering. And if being completely subservient feels too scary at first, start small. Their submission is a gift that only they have the power to give. When figuring out how to be a submissive, keep in mind that subs are the ones choosing this lifestyle for themselves. Will a sub “Lose Themselves” to Their Dom?Ī submissive can be confident, independent, and strong and still be a sub. I’ve learned that instead, the best and simplest response I can give is usually: “Yes, Daddy.” In the end, it makes both of our lives so much easier. Initially, I would rebel a little, or try to undermine my Dom’s decisions subtly. One challenge I have had to overcome as a submissive is topping from the bottom. And a test to many is being obedient even when not in the presence of their Dom. Working on behavior modification and serving someone else can be hard when you are tired and pressed for time. There’s also the fact that in a 24/7 relationship, there are stressors like full-time jobs and children. Subs in a D/s relationship aim to conduct themselves in a respectful and modest manner at all times, recognizing that their behavior is a direct reflection of their Dom.Ĭhallenges of Learning How to Be a Good submissiveĪn important thing to note when learning how to be a good submissive is that subs are not perfect they will mess up from time to time. They are obedient and accept discipline when needed, so it’s important to learn How to Punish a Sub Effectively. It is not uncommon for a sub to have a mild and quiet personality while in the presence of their Dom. This means they may have to give up some of their freedoms and preferences. Someone who learns how to be submissive knows that a sub strives to please their Dom in all things, not just sexually. Secretary (check out 3 Reasons Why You Need to Watch Secretary for more about proper BDSM).Little (read The Ultimate Guide to DD/lg Lifestyle for more).Here are some of the many roles a submissive can take on. They are the subservient partner of a relationship, and that is why “sub” is usually spelled in lowercase while “Dom” is usually capitalized. Here’s an important fact when it comes to understanding how to be a sub – the definition of a submissive is a person who is consensually obedient and compliant to their partner, and who also likes to give up control. There are many bad and fake Doms out there, and even predators pretending to be Doms, so ensure you bookmark The 9 Warning Signs of Fake Doms vs Real Doms for later.Ĭheck out my page about BDSM limits, or read about The 6 Things You Need to Know About Safe Words for more safety tips. True submission to a Dom must be earned first.

If you are a sub in a D/s relationship, be very careful not to give your submission to just anyone. Unlike BDSM, abuse has no limits or safewords. They want someone who truly desires to be owned.Īnother thing to know about how to be a submissive is that being a sub also isn’t consenting to abuse. A real Dom wouldn’t want a doormat anyway. They have feelings and needs, so they shouldn’t serve apathetically or reluctantly. There are a few things to understand when discovering how to be a good sub – first and foremost, a sub is not a doormat.

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Frequently Asked Questions About How to Be Submissiveįor extra insights, download our How to Be a Good submissive cheat sheet and follow along with the rest of this article.

Finding Help as a submissive in a D/s Relationship.Taking the submission out of the bedroom and into 24/7.Will a sub “Lose Themselves” to Their Dom?.Challenges of Learning How to Be a Good submissive.